You were texting with your boyfriend when you decided to take a pregnancy test. Your period was a day late, but it’s been late before. You just wanted to be completely confident everything was normal.
Then, you saw the two pink lines. You could have dropped your phone out of surprise. That wasn’t supposed to happen, but now it’s reality. How do you tell your boyfriend and family?
Here is a step-by-step guide for sharing the news with your boyfriend and family. Keep in mind, this is only a general outline meant to help. We advise you to think about what works best for your unique situation.
1. Pick the Communication Method
Should you text the news to your boyfriend the moment you find out?
It might be better to share the news in person, and then you can see his reaction firsthand and get a sense of his feelings. If you text him and he doesn’t respond, you’ll wonder if he received the message or how he’s reacting.
Sharing in person is ideal if you have a respectful relationship, and there’s no chance of him having a physical outburst toward you. If you’re worried about his reaction, tell him over the phone or in the presence of others.
For your family, the same principle applies. While telling them in person is the best method when you have no reason to fear, take precautions if your parents are unpredictable with their tempers.
2. Choose the Timing
Timing is everything. Choose a time to tell your loved ones when they are relaxed, and can give you their full attention.
Consider choosing another time if they are preoccupied, tired, frustrated, angry, or even hungry. Read the room. If you sense something isn’t right, select another time.
Perhaps after dinner, when you’re unwinding together, or during a meaningful conversation late at night, you will feel the time is right to share your news.
3. Consider the Location
Choose a comfortable location where everyone feels at ease. This will depend on your knowledge of them. They may be most comfortable on the couch or at the dinner table.
If you are worried about their reaction, try breaking the news in a public place. This location will help keep the response more reserved, and you can quickly get assistance from others if needed.
4. Plan Your Message
Your message doesn’t have to be long. You don’t have to have all the answers or have your future planned out. The purpose of sharing the news is for them to know what you are going through in the present moment.
Calmly share the news. Try not to blame anyone or jump to conclusions. Avoid assumptions like “I know you won’t” or “I know you can’t.” Give them a fair chance to respond.
5. Let it Sink in
Their initial reactions can be emotional, but give the news a chance to sink in. How your loved ones feel now may not be what they feel days later. Give them the space they need to process the unexpected pregnancy, just like you had to after you received the positive result.
We Can Help
Want to confirm your pregnancy and create your communication plan? Visit us at The Pregnancy Center in Clinton, Iowa, for a safe place to receive confidential support and services.
All our appointments are free because we care for the women in our community. Schedule with us today!
